2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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