Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
