Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
