Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
