what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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