my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
