Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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