i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
