Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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