i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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