But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
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Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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