All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
