I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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