okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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