if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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