dude i'm inner monologue high
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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