That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
