She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he fucked my hip out of place.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
