real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
