READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
