I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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