She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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