hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The feeling are messing with the penis
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
