I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
