well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
