she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
