i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
