I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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