mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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