Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
