Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
