dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
