I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
