My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
