Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
