I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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