Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
