I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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