Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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