I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
