erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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