Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
