she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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