spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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