apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
