awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize