Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
