In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
