to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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