ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
