Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
