Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
