# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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