from now on my penis is your penis
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
