Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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